Why give a sh** about others?

Empathy, compassion & connection

There isn’t a lot that surprises me anymore. I’ve seen human beings at their worst and best. Imagine if every human had self compassion & didn’t go sprinkling their unresolved stuff everywhere? As a human guilty of this, undoing the hand you are dealt can be daunting, exhausting and time consuming.

However, your ability to give a sh** about others, is not just good for you, it’s good for the planet, connecting with others without causing harm, relies upon it.

Human beings are capable of the most cruel, inhumane, unjust, treatment of others humans, of behaviours even animals will not do to each other.

One thing is a stand out when it comes to indicators of narcissism, preventing harm to others and to yourself, its the availability of compassion and empathy from an individual.

When someone shows you they lack empathy or compassion, listen!

Empathy begins, when we dare to see the world through someone else’s eyes and experience. Empathy feeds compassion.

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"Compassion is the basis of morality."
— Arthur Schopenhauer

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What a Lack of Empathy Might Indicate

Generally, a lack of compassion is a misalignment with empathy based values, e.g. missing empathy from your natural instincts.

Empathy requires vulnerability and some individuals, protect themselves by shutting that down. Cultural and environmental conditioning can reinforce turning off compassion and empathy. In some environments, children are raised to avoid being vulnerable; vulnerability is promoted as a sign of weakness. Assessing risk is a sign of weakness, fear or anxiety. A lack of risk assessment however, may indicate low awareness, learned carelessness, emotional immaturity and impaired executive function.

A lack of empathy is an alert. It's not an award to be celebrated. Sociopaths & psychopaths lack empathy. Empathy is what helps prevent harm to others.

Sociopaths - may understand what others feel, their response is blunted, without emotion. Hot tempered, reactive, less calculating.

Psychopaths - really don’t get it. Profound lack of emotional and cognitive empathy. They don’t a feel for others. Manipulative, no guilt, no remorse.

When you lack compassion for others (whether close to you or on a global scale), it can reveal an over abundance of self-interest (basically selfish / self-centredness) over the collective well-being of yourself as part of a wider group.

A person without compassion may prioritise success, control, or independence over empathy, justice, or care for others. It can also indicate an absence of human rights, dignity for others, respect & human decency.

In addition, a lack of empathy can suggest, an underlying belief system - vulnerability is weakness or that people "deserve" their suffering (resulting in causing suffering).

A individual with an absence of compassion, carries low emotional intelligence and difficulty recognising or responding to others’, or other beings with sensitivity. It can highlight, underlying narcissistic traits and an inability or unwillingness to connect with others' suffering.

Individuals who lack empathy, fail to take responsibility for causing harm, always pushing accountability onto others, increasing the likelihood of causing harm to others, while increasing their lack of insight into their own behaviours.

Sadly, a lack of compassion can indicate both biological causes and a learned behaviour.

Some people are raised in environments that discourage emotional expression or empathy, reinforcing stoicism or harsh judgment, ignoring the needs of others, self-centredness & disguise this as looking after themselves, self preservation and individual rights. These behaviours are toxic to the self and to others.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
— Dalai Lama

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Why is empathy & compassion good for your health?

Compassion -

* It activates the parasympathetic nervous system and calms the body.

* Strengthens social connections, increase oxytocin (feel good chemicals).

* Fosters self-compassion & greater resilience.

* Enhances relationships with trust, connection & safety.

* Reduces conflict & increases support.

In short - empathy & compassion are natural healers.

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"Until you have real compassion, you cannot recognize love."
— Bob Thurman

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Thank you for stopping by.

If you’d like to share the love, you are welcome to shout a coffee to this budding writer xo With a big heart, I am incredibly grateful xo Tuls